Broken Heart

There is no one who can understand what I’m feeling today. The love of my life, whose love was the purest and most wonderful love I have ever had, is dead.

I don’t understand it.

I’ve been wasting away the past six weeks. I was going to bring him with me because I knew I would miss him too much. My mother convinced me not to bring him. I wish I would have stuck to my feelings, maybe he would still be alive.

I will see him tomorrow, but he will be dead. All I wanted to do was go home and love him, see him. Have him wake me up with kisses like he used to do every morning.

No one can understand how I feel. They might feel sorry for me. They might try to empathize with me. But no one can understand how I felt because of his love. And now it’s gone and I will never have it again.

He wasn’t just a cat to me. He was a thread of pure love woven into me. I could see it in his eyes, how much he loved me. I hope he knows I thought of him every day and missed him every minute. I miss him so much.

Life is to be this cruel to me. I barely made it past a week into the year and it’s devastatingly ruined.

I was walking out of the Target after having just bought a cat pack. It was black and brown just like him. That’s when I got the phone call from Jayke. I couldn’t even listen to what he had to say. I screamed and hung up the phone. It was like pulling your hand back from a hot coil. But it was too late. It hurts. My heart is aching. Nothing I can do will stop this pain.

His name was Creation Pre-Divinity. He was an Adventure Cat. He was Random’s first born, her first son, her second baby to die. I know we will all miss him dearly. Me and Random most of all.

I’m still hoping this is all a bad dream.

I love you, my baby.

CPD (22 April 2012 – 09 January 2013)